Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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