we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
