She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
