Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
