so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
