I need help removing her.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
