Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
