I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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