I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
