I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
