I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
