So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
