Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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