It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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