I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
