I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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