Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
