homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We have started to decorate penises.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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