I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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