Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
