we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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