I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
