i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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