okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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