and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
