did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
try to milk me bitch
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