Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
