hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
