I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
