he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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