READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
