dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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