It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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