Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
