'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
