why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My ass is underappreciated
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
