He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
