worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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