Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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