I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
When are your genitals available?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
