im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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