the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
