Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
