I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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