I wannas sexs uuuuu
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
