have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
