Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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