I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
