the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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