Three words: puerto rican gang bang
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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